truly truly, what i want you'll want later

sometimes when i say things to people i surprise myself with my intellect. i say things and opinions and arguments and statements that are so valid and legitimate and it surprises me because i didn't even know i thought these things or had these opinions but i guess it's because no one asked. i sometimes think i speak faster than i think so my thoughts are created before i can even comprehend or accept the fact that that's my fact. it needs stimulation sometimes, and sometimes it needs initiation. it's like the difference between writing with pen and paper and typing your writing on a computer or typewriter. if you write it with pen and paper your mind is going faster than your hand so you have time to edit as you go but if you try to write something through typing that's not just rerecording and is creating it's so different because it feels like you're in a different state, kind of being directed by this weird connection...fingertip-key-paper equals more transition and more room for the original thought to alter.
whatever, i wrote this a week ago when i was fucked and i'm rereading it now, hating but not editing.
if anyone read more than they couldn't ignore i'd write more.
you have to choose to read something, you can't help but read images if they're in your immediate view. that's why big fonts work best, cause even if you try to look at a sign as shapes you can't not read what it's saying cause the shapes associate with letters that associate with sounds and their arrangement associates with words you can recognize. that's what bugs me, how i can't not be exposed to messages and advertising but the fine print i'd have to want to read it and take initiative to read it. if all signs were in a smaller font, you could select what you'd want to be exposed to. but i guess being exposed to things we wouldn't choose to learn about can help add knowledge of culture - positive or negative - and keep us aware and unhappy.
what if i don't want to see GUESS? BY MARCIANO when i'm looking at a bus and all i want to see is the side of a bus. product knowledge, even of crap, can help make your product, or not product but anything you do,create,shit be more defined, cause it reflects what you like cause you found out about shit you liked but it also doesn't have crap cause you unwillingly got exposed to crap and learnt what you don't like and what you definitely should not be doing.
guess? ads are a key factor in good art cause it's deliberately not present.
regardless, ratios of material we're exposed to seriously needs to be evaluated, cause if all we see on buses,billboards,magazines is crap, if we don't now there's more than crap existant cause crap is all we see all we can use is the best crap. currently what's neccessary is exposure to the oblivious masses to uncrap - not neccessarily amazingness, but just an alternative to the absolute worst - cause maybe then our crap will be not as crappy, but just boring and not painfully confused.
whatever, i've been thinking a lot about the economy and don't even get me started. plus i can't type cause i have a ghetto american flag french manicure fake pinky nail.

i'm gonna add some photos from kasia's camera in another post.
keep spending you fear following penny pinchers.